OTC: NFL Lockout Ends / Chiefs’ Football Is Back, Baby!

“The NFL just disrespects us all with this dog and pony show. STOP with the ‘football is back’ nonsense. (Football) never went anywhere. We didn’t lose a thing. ”
Bob Fescoe, Twitter
GH: I could even have done with losing the worthless NFL preseason games if we could be assured the season would start on time without the teams looking like an impression of a Sporting Kansas City match. There is no sport I follow where the exhibition games (including the All-Pro game) are less interesting than NFL football. If the owners really want to show us they’re sorry they should make these scrimmages free.

“History will remember this as no lockout whatsoever. Football handles its labor issues much better than the other sports. When we look back it will be nothing more than a footnote.”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: KK’s right — and it probably won’t even take until the first worthless preseason game for us to forget.

“I think the lockout has been wildly enjoyable.”
Nick Wright, 610 AM
GH: Wright was one of the few (make that the only) local sports talk host to continually update his listeners on the NFL lockout. I found all the lockout talk about as interesting as a Jim Rome horseracing update. Read on.

“I’ve said this ever since I got into horse racing. Horse racing is a punch in the face and a kick in the ass!”
Jim Rome, Jim Rome Show
GH: Rome spent part of his Monday show whining about his horse’s performance in a recent race. I did not listen long but I did pick up something about a graded-two stakes race and that the nine-hole was a bad draw for his horse. He then played a recording of the play-by-play of the horse race where his horse finished wherever he/she
finished. It was as brutal a segment of sports talk radio as any I have ever
heard. How much arrogance does it take to subject your sports talk audience to
horse racing talk about the host’s nag? Not to mention on the day the NFL
lockout dissolves into unbridled hysteria! It is becoming obvious that Rome has
overstayed his welcome in the game of sports talk radio. When will 610 Sports
also recognize the length of JR’s tooth? Is it time to show 610’s Night Shift
the midday light?

“Both sides got some things they wanted, but didn’t get all the things they wanted. That is the definition of negotiation and settlement.”
Rudy Niswanger, Chiefs player rep, Twitter
GH: What Rudy wants is a job. Let’s hope the Chiefs don’t hold his work as a team representative against him when it comes to resigning this free agent. His Chiefs’ teammates obviously have a great deal of respect for him.

“The (Chiefs) ticket taker issue has been resolved, and on Monday team employees found out  that all pay cuts would be reimbursed. Moreover, they’ll be getting 3 percent  raises, retroactive to March, starting with Friday’s paychecks.”
Sam Mellinger, Kansas City Star
GH: All that handwringing and Chiefs’ bashing can also hit the trashcan. How many of us have received back pay and a raise after being asked to take a paycut?

“It might be the last time (ESPN’s) Jason Stark gets TV time all week. Because as soon as this thing breaks, baseball is going to be out of sight, out of mind.”
Danny Parkins, as the lockout neared a resolution Monday morning, 610 AM
GH: Baseball is about to get moved to the media backburner. Here in Kansas City it might get jettisoned to 1985. 610 Sports will earn their ratings the next few months as they battle having to air Royals games and Frank White updates all the way through September.

“The next two weeks will determine the legacy of Scott Pioli as the general Manager of the Kansas City Chiefs. His legacy will be made or broken in the next two weeks. It is on Scott
Pioli’s shoulders. I think this is an opportunity for Scott Pioli to become one
of the great general managers in the National Football League. And frankly, I
believe Clark Hunt should expect that.”
Soren Petro, 810 AM
GH: That sounds like a lot to lay on the shoulders of a guy who has a handful of days to sign free agents and is staring at one of the most difficult Chiefs’ schedules in recent memory. Petro is one 810 voice who has no trouble mixing it up with the Chiefs. He is a Carl Peterson man and any success Pioli garners as the Chiefs GM eats away at King
Carl’s floor-length leather jacket. 

“I think Kansas City is a nice, nice destination for a lot of free agents.”
Bob Fescoe, 610 AM
GH: Yes, if we are looking to sign a lot of Buffalo’s FAs. 

“I don’t think these (free agent) guys would be interested in coming to the Chiefs. I wouldn’t expect the best biggest names to come here.”
Danny Parkins, 610 AM

“You’ll want to leave it here on 810 all week long for breaking information (on Chiefs free agent signings).”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: This is about as close as KK has gotten to publicly acknowledging RadioWars. But I can smell the napalm coming through my speakers. Read on.

“I don’t know if we are sitting here doing this (sports talk radio) if there isn’t a professional football team in Kansas City. … Television ratings, radio ratings, you name it – it is all
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: Grenade number two tossed at the Royals affiliate down the dial.

“When it does end, I bet I’ll get a few calls and be in a camp somewhere.”
Carson Coffman, former KSU quarterback, on signing as an undrafted free agent with an NFL team, Fox 4
GH: In my opinion, Carson had little chance of hooking on with an NFL team even before the lockout. Now that the free-agent period has shrunken to the size of Costanza’s wet willy, he make be a K-State graduate assistant in waiting.

“I’m amending the Chiefs’ position needs in free agency. I now think ILB is the top priority, followed by RT, NT and WR.”
Kent Babb, Twitter
GH: It is about time Babb and Teicher got back to work. Does a beat writer develop rust from a lockout?

“Here’s my predicted order of finish in the AFC West: 1. San Diego, 2. KC, 3. Oakland, 4. Denver.”
Kent Babb, Twitter
GH: All four of these teams could change dramatically over the next six weeks. I like Oakland second and the Chiefs third for now. The Chiefs schedule is just too damn tough.

“I think he’ll be back. I think Brian Waters will be back.”
Kent Babb, 610 AM
GH: I think Waters is gone, gone, retired. The Chiefs will save some money and Waters’ spark has long left him, now a shadow of his former All-Pro self.

“That’s my weak point. I need to e a little more detail oriented. … I am a fan more than anything. That’s my strength. And that’s something I don’t ever want to lose.”
Gus Johnson, popular play-by-play voice, in an interview with Kevin Kietzman, agreeing that he does not know all the names of the substitutes or assistant coaches of his broadcasts, 810 AM
GH: The word on Johnson is that fans love him but broadcasters deride him for his lack of preparation. Good to hear Johnson admit his weakness and willingness to work on it.

“I’m excited about this change (from CBS to Fox). It’s a little scary. … I don’t want to let them down.”
Gus Johnson, 810 AM
GH: No more NCAA basketball tourney for Gus. I’ll miss his screaming, yelling and insanity. He sounds a lot like my living room during the tourney.

“I try not to go on the computer and I try not to read the papers – especially in New York.”
Gus Johnson, when asked by KK if he ever Googled himself, 810 AM
GH: Even Johnson, who gets as much love from the public as any play-by-play guy currently on TV, guards himself against criticism. I find that surprising.

“I do it all the time! I probably do it 50 times a year! Some kid comes up to me with a cell phone and asks me to say something (for their voicemail greeting). I say something crazy and they love that.”
Gus Johnson, 810 AM
GH: I find this pretty cool. A lot of well-known members of the media can be less than cordial when you run into them face to face. Al McGuire, a guy whose career I followed closely from when he coached at Marquette and then later as one of the first popular ex-coach TV analysts, was a jerk when I met him in person. Bob Costas, on the other hand, could not have been nicer. Good to hear Gus likely falls into the Costas category.

“(Todd Haley) is a combination Bill Parcels and Jay-Z. I’m really gonna miss him. He’s a cool dude.”
Gus Johnson, 810 AM
GH: Do you think the nickname, Todd-Z, would stick on coach?

 and Twitter / greghall24

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About Greg Hall

Software guy who has been writing my Off The Couch column in KC newspapers, publications and websites since 1994. Has been bounced from some of the finest media establishments this side of State Line Road. Dad first and everything else second...and there are a lot of everything elses.
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16 Responses to OTC: NFL Lockout Ends / Chiefs’ Football Is Back, Baby!

  1. Jim says:

    The only difference between KK’s and NW’s impending coverage of the Chiefs will be the color of schlong each has in his mouth. Pretty sure the Clarks’ is white and NW will seek out the opposite color to maintain his ‘Cred as the Barstow brotha.

  2. KCGolffan says:

    “How much arrogance does it take to subject your sports talk audience to
    horse racing talk about the host’s nag?” What else would you expect from a complete horse’s ass….

  3. smartman says:

    I’m gonna lock out with my cock out. I won’t spend any money this year on any NFL merch or game tickets. That’s just me but I ain’t Hillary Clinton. I still remember the jizz on the dress. Haven’t been to an MLB game since the strike. Haven’t spent one cent on MLB Merch. I’ve been to lot’s of college and minor league games but MLB can lick the grey hair around my asshole. Better hurry I’m getting it bleached next week before I go to Hedonism.

    I’ve already received e-mails from NFL.com and stubhub offering me “valued customer” discounts on merch and tix. Blow me!

    As much as I abhor 810 they will beat 610 so badly in football coverage it might qualify as a hate crime.

    Gus Johnson is OK but Troy Aikman and Jack Buck RULE the NFL. They are Picasso’s of play by play.

    Todd Haley has more in common with Jerry Mazer than Jay Z. WTF was Gus thinking with that.

    I will donate $1000.00 to the charity of their choice, or one of their baby mommas to the first black Chiefs player that produces and un-photoshopped picture of Nick Wright blowing them.

    • The Independent Rage says:

      You use some rather raunchy, non-politically correct language. I’m always so hesitant to use that kind of language, even though I want to. You might just be the sorry embodiment of the early 90′s film, “Bad Influence.” And they call ME one of those!

  4. rick says:

    3 points

    1-Greg u can’t be serious. Jim Rome replaced!!!! We get very little national perspective as it is. So u think another 4 hours of Royals talk is just what we need. Boy brother u are wayyyyy off the boat on this one.
    2-How great for Soren to echo exactly what was written in the paper by Sam Mellinger on Sunday. Good to know Soren reads. Saw him last night on TV. Trying to count how many chins he has.
    3-Just what the world needs. A wet willie comment. U have been married to long.

  5. Orphan of the Road says:

    Joe Buck? Jack’s been dead awhile but he would still be better in the booth that his snot- nosed son.

    I mean the jackwad complained on a World Series game that it was 11 at night. He always seems to want to be somewhere other than where he is when broadcasting.

    Troy’s OK but he could do a lot of good if he would open up on concussions. The Eagles put the Ache in Aikman.

    Born on third base and he thinks he hit a triple.

    The baseball strike turned me off too. BB players are the worst when it comes to interacting with fans. Both the clubs and the players reek of the distain they have for the fans.

    NFL lost me when the Eagles built a new stadium and there was not one drinking fountain in the place. An oversight said Joe “Nickels” Banner. Yeah right.

    I’ll watch games but unless someone gives me a ticket, I’ll be doing my Greg Hall impersonation. On The Couch.

  6. smartman says:

    @orphan. OOPS! MY BAD! Thanks for the correction. I’ll put myself in time out. Can I use Freudian Fantasy as an excuse?

    With ya on Troy and the headbangers. Given the absolute pounding his cranium took I am impressed that he can string three words together much less deliver high quality work on TV.

    Guys that took much less punishment spend their days drooling on a bib while delivering monosyllabic requests for more pudding.

    Also agree on Joe and the Silver Spoon of Lucky Sperm but he’s a much better reflection of his father than Clark Hunt, Dan Glass, Nick Wright, Craig Glazer or Hearne Christoper.

    • Cliffy says:

      “…he’s a much better reflection of his father than Clark Hunt, Dan Glass, Nick Wright, Craig Glazer or Hearne Christoper.”

      So very true.

  7. MrOlathe says:

    Rome is still the best show to get a good belly laugh going. The show is at it’s best when they go off on a tangent like the Happy Days/Jump the Shark episode. That was must hear radio for sure. I listen to the radio for entertainment. KK sure as hell isn’t funny. Never has been.

  8. The Independent Rage says:

    Wall-to-wall horse racing talk and references to “graded-two stakes” and “nine-holers”? This from a guy who once poked fun at the death of pro bowler Earl Anthony by referring to him repeatedly as “the greatest speed-control bowler of all time.”

    The Socal surfer dude schtick just doesn’t work so well when not only are you pushing 50, but you’re also starting to act like it. Maybe Rome can take to calling the Chiefs’ QB “Cassy” and stage a fight with him to regain some of that past glory.

    He and KK alike might also consider changing some of their theme songs for the first time in 30 years. Even when I first heard it in the late 90′s, KK’s opening theme sounded like cheesy bumper music from a 1982 edition of All-Star Wrestling — and he’s STILL using it! KK should change his last name to Wall and move his show to Memorial Hall. Just watch out for the midgets and Shiek Abdullah.

  9. Gerald Bostock says:

    Guys still bitter 17 years after the baseball strike? What’s the point? Either you like baseball or you don’t. If the players or owners or whoever you see as the villain offended you so greatly, why do you pay attention at all? Get over it, kiss and make up, or finalize the divorce and move on. And a total boycott means no games on TV–that ESPN and FoxSports money makes it way back to Alex Rodriguez and David Glass; no patronizing the advertisers, either–all those Bud Lights you’ve pissed away helped pay for that Jose Guillen contract. And it also means no hanging out on the Internet boasting about how you’ve held your breath for 17 years.

    • Orphan of the Road says:

      Still love the game but the players and owners have no regard for the fans. They are killing their future by having playoffs and World Series games on so late the youngsters can’t stay up.

      So I don’t buy their tickets or merchandise.

      Light beer? You have to be kidding me. IF you want a light beer just poor the real deal over ice or take a swig and fill the bottle with water. And beer doesn’t have rice or high-fructose corn syrup in it. That’s a malt beverage.

      I’ll drink a Schlitz because of a friend who passed away. Otherwise it’s a Boulevard, Yuengling or other beer which contains only barley, hops, water and yeast. THAT is what beer is not the chemically created flotsam which sells so well.

      Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe, fucking near water…

  10. smartman says:

    @Gerald. I will admit to watching MLB on TV. I drink no AB or, fuck I hate saying this, Interbev products, no Taco Bell, no Pepsi products, no Sonic, no Hy-Vee, no David sunflower seeds, or whatever toothpaste, deodorant, razor blades toilet paper blah, blah, blah with an MLB logo. Am I 100% pure? No, but I’m doing the best I can.

    And I guaran-fucking-tee you if I was Jewish you would not catch my ass driving a German car.

    Oy wifee? You vunt vee takah duh Melsaydees oh duh Poe-sha tonite?

    Vy can’t vee takah duh Cadillac Hymie?

    Oy vey, vy alvays vit dat amelican piece uf shit you vanna go in? Dats fo po Jews. Vee just bot it cuz yur boobie Chaim needed da sale to kept duh job end vee got such duh fuckeeng deal! Zeelo puss-cent fo vun hundred tventy monts!

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