OTC: Dyson Says He Can Take Jamaal Charles In A 40 Yard Dash — And Bolt Too!

“I could beat Jamaal Charles in a race. I didn’t say that by any chance but you know what? I’m not afraid to race nobody. I’ll tell you that.”
Jarrod Dyson, after being told the Chiefs’ GM, John Dorsey, said Dyson had told him he could beat Charles in a race, Fox Sports KC
GH: Dorsey made these comments on Nate Bukaty’s radio show last week and Nate was savvy enough to take them to Dyson and ask his reaction. The Royals TV crew put together a little package for their Sunday pregame show and it made for some enjoyable viewing in the midst of their seven-game losing streak. Read on.

“Straight up – for the camera – I’m not afraid to race nobody! You put me in a 40-yard dash, you go out and come with it! I don’t care who you are. You can go out and get (Usain) Bolt, he can go and come with it in a 40. Just let me get loose. Real loose, you know. Hot tub or on the bike for 10.”
Jarrod Dyson, Fox Sports KC
GH: Dyson does not have mastering of the King’s English but you get the gist of what he is saying.

“(Race) for a hundred yards? You gonna lose (if you bet) on me. I’ll tell you that now. I break down like bacteria after a hundred. I’m telling you right now.”
Jarrod Dyson, Fox Sports KC
GH: Who knew Dyson was a scientist as well? Bacteria is more the agent that does the breaking down rather than breaking down itself but again, you get what Dyson is bringing.

“I’d pay to see a 40-yard dash between Jamaal Charles and Jarrod Dyson. These might be the two fastest men in their respective sports and they play right here in Kansas City.”
Nate Bukaty, Fox Sports KC
GH: What??? Dyson and Charles are fast but are they THE fastest guys in MLB and the NFL? Danny Duffy doesn’t think Dyson is even the fastest guy on the Royals. Read on.

“Let me stir it up a little further and say – did Danny Duffy not say when we were in Detroit that Emilio Bonifacio might be able to beat Dyson in a race?”
Joel Goldberg, Fox Sports KC
GH: If you saw Bonifacio score from first Sunday afternoon on that single just onto the grass behind second base, you understand why Duffy might think that about the Royals’ new utility player. Bonifacio runs like a running back – with great power. Dyson is more of a point guard speedster. But 40 yards is a short race. I might favor Dyson as well.

“I wish Dyson wasn’t so shy.”
Joel Goldberg, who made this tongue-in-cheek comment in gest, Fox Sports KC
GH: All the more reason to get Dyson on camera more often. I know Fox loves to show Monty and Goldy droning on and on and on up in their camouflage-netted perch in right field but I could do with a lot less of these two on camera. When the Royals have a personality like Dyson, put a camera in his face and let him entertain us more often.  

“You can’t compete until you win more games than you lose.”
Ned Yost, 810 AM
GH: Ned is a freaking genius.

“These kids are getting great experience. They’re learning how to deal with all kinds of pressure. We have to as an organization show improvement. That’s going to be huge for us. We have to be at .500 or better. I think that’s really, really, really important.”
Ned Yost, 810 AM
GH: Hey Ned, I don’t give a drag bunt that the kids are getting great experience. I want the Royals to win something other than a Greg Focker ninth-place ribbon. I don’t think finishing .500 or better this season means anything as to how this franchise wins in 2014 and beyond. Winners win, losers shoot to finish .500.  

“I think what (Yost’s) saying is, ‘Don’t fire me if we finish only at .500.’ ”
Rany Jazayerli, when asked to interpret Yost’s comments, 810 AM

“Everybody else in the (Royals’) line up (except Eric Hosmer) is worse.”
Rany Jazayerli, when comparing the offensive numbers from the Royals lineup last season under Kevin Seitzer as the batting coach to this season without him, 810 AM
GH: Was Seitzer as a hitting coach a plus or a minus for the Royals? The drop off in this year’s scoring with almost the same lineup was startling. Yost fired Seitzer and declared the team needed to him more home runs. Yost is on his fourth batting coach this season. Not good.

“When you go to the bathroom, lift the toilet seat up. Don’t be peeing on the toilet seat.”
Rene Lachemann, first-base coach for the Rockies, as he delivers a souvenir baseball and a lecture to a lucky youngster in the stands, yahoo.com
GH: Click on this link to watch this video of Lachemann’s lecture, you will not be sorry.

[email protected] and Twitter / @greghall24

About Greg Hall

Software guy who has been writing my Off The Couch column in KC newspapers, publications and websites since 1994. Has been bounced from some of the finest media establishments this side of State Line Road. Dad first and everything else second...and there are a lot of everything elses.
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17 Responses to OTC: Dyson Says He Can Take Jamaal Charles In A 40 Yard Dash — And Bolt Too!

  1. Gavin says:

    I dunno anything about Dyson as a runner, but in college Jamaal Charles placed fourth in the NCAA Indoor 60 meter, fifth in the NCAA Outdoor 100 meter and, if memory serves he ran the 200 and one relay or another. That might not be world class speed, but it’s pretty damn close. I don’t think it’s outrageous to say that he could be the fastest guy in the NFL, greg.

  2. Joe Blow says:

    Rany quoted again? The guy who adamantly pushed for Dan Haren all offseason, then continually backtracks and keeps saying, “There must be medical things I didn’t know! I don’t have access to inside records!” Who wanted Shaun Marcum for 2 years, $20 million (signed for 1 year, $4 million, and gave 14 crappy appearances before hitting the DL for good) and refuses to acknowledge that he ever advocated for that signing…then excoriates Yost for whatever failings. Deletes comments on his blog that have an inkling of disagreement.

    Stop quoting this guy — he’s a close-minded jackass who disagrees with anything that doesn’t fit into his little worldview. For being a baseball “expert”, he demonstrates almost zero knowledge about how baseball is actually played..

    • Joe Blow says:

      Also could have had Edwin Jackson & his 5.00 ERA for 4 years, $52 million; Rany hedged, but liked getting Wade Davis in the Myers/Shields trade;

      He also posts shit like this: Brandon McCarthy just signed with the Diamondbacks for 2 years and $15.5 million. His ERA the last two years (3.29) is almost as good as Shields’ is. Sure, he’s not durable at all, but he’s 60% of the price and he doesn’t cost you Wil Myers! (Besides, you really just need him to hold up until July, when Danny Duffy and Felipe Paulino return.)

      Danny Duffy can’t throw a curveball for a strike, Paulino is nowhere close to returning. McCarthy has thrown 15 starts of 5.44 ERA.

      Are the Royals a better team in 2013 with James Shields and Wade Davis? Yes. Are they a better team with Shields and Davis but without Myers and Odorizzi? Yes, but not as much. But are they a better team with Shields and Davis but without Myers, Odorizzi, and the starting pitcher they could have signed with the money they’ve added to the payroll? Honestly, I’m not sure.

      He’s never *sure* of anything, just throws asinine shit out there and backtracks beyond belief..

      • david says:

        but he’s a dermatologist with a blog and he knows sabremetrics. Why wouldn’t one value his opinion more than someone who has actually played the game and made his living making tough decisions?

  3. Ron says:

    There’s no way Yost or Moore get fired at the end of the season. Yost is an intelligent manager. The talking heads on radio love to say baseball managers aren’t that important in the overall scheme of things, especially compared to football head coaches. Obviously nowhere near a true statement, since they’ve already blamed Yost for about 40 losses this year. Sports talkers in KC aren’t too bright.

    • Joe Blow says:

      People have been waiting to pile on Yost from day one. They seemingly keep track of every time a move is made that backfires, then pronounce it loudly.

      They never mention when a move works..

  4. Arte says:

    Don’t know the details. But do remember a story about Teicher following a Chiefs coach on to the bus because he wasn’t satisified with an answer to his question.

  5. Phaedrus says:

    Why is Rene Lacheman telling a girl to lift the toilet seat up? Does he want her to fall in?

  6. Ultimate Dude says:

    Love when Greg posts Jazayerli comments. They’re so easily refuted as they have been in the above comments. “He’s been a Royals fan for over 40 years!!! He writes a blog!! Soren Petro quotes him. He’s good at math damnit!!” Why in the hell someone would quote a jerkoff non-athletic nerd instead of people who actually have played or managed the game is laughable.

    The one sole reason I have little respect for what journalists do is the commentary about putting a camera in front of Dyson’s face and letting him run with it. Is it entertainment, or a chance to point out someone else’s shortcomings?? Journalists are some if the most narcissistic people on earth. They want a guy to be himself, so they can redicule him and profit from it. Some great humanitarians!! If Dantes Inferno is true, journalists will be right there with lawyers and judges in the 9th circle with their tongues ripped out and faces sewn to the ground. Have any of you ever that feeling of “I just need to shut the fuck.up”. No. You haven’t.

    Greg is typical “easy way out” Royals fan. Not a true fan. Before the season, .500 or better was the goal, sign of improvement. Now they’re expected to get into the playoffs and be in the division race (which 98% of people wrote off as an easy Tigers division winner). Insanity. Double-standards and hipocracy once again.

    Again with Jazayerli… The best place for him is 6 feet in the ground. Yeah I said it.

    @UltimateDude79

    • bs says:

      That comment is a step too far, regardless of your opinion of Rany’s baseball opinions.

    • Steve says:

      Wow, you’re just a bad person.

    • Truth says:

      Man you are a jealous self righteous douche!

    • Phaedrus says:

      Dude is just a lonely troll that’s trying to be like Smartman. Ignore him and he’ll go away.

    • JP says:

      Is this what the world has come to. People are wishing others dead, simply over their opinions about baseball. We have people killing others simply because they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is a sad comment on America, 2013 and that comment about Rany deserves the outrage it is getting.

  7. The Independent Rage says:

    I’m gonna weigh on this. If Charles is completely healthy (meaning his off-season), I think he blows Dyson away in the 40 by at least a few steps. But if Charles would be stupid enough to race Dyson right now or during the season (when Charles is more in “football playing shape”), then Dyson would have a fightin’ chance.

    Still, however, neither one of those 2 could ever come close to carrying the foot-racing jocks of Willie Wilson or Bo Jackson in their primes. Forgetta-bout-it!

  8. Rob J says:

    Greg, you ever find out what happened to Jayice Pearson?

    • Scott says:

      Ohhh, good question. I’d forgotten he was on the show and now that you mention it, I haven’t heard him in a while. Man, I don’t miss that guy. Horrible, horrible radio.

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