OTC: Fire-Throwing Ace Ventura Might Be Part Dragon? / Chiefs Draft A “Crasp Shoot”

“I have no explanation how a 5’11” guy can command fire like this. I am left with one inescapable conclusion: Yordano Ventura is a Targaryen.”
Rany Jazayerli, @jazayerli, Twitter
GH: Ace Ventura might just have some dragon in him. Every start of his is going to be must-see-TV this season…and hopefully for years to come.

“Let’s back up (about Yordano Ventura). IF he’s not an ace we are going to curse his name in two years. That’s what fans of bad teams do. Right now we love him but if this team continues to lose we will be beating up on him just like we’re beating up on Billy Butler right now. … My expectations have been a quite a bit lower than the bandwagon fans. I’m not completely on board that it’s going to be a spectacular year for this kid.”
Soren Petro, 810 AM
GH: This was Petro’s intro to saying how impressed he was with Ventura’s outing last night in Houston. Kind of an odd way of saying, “Hey, looks like I was wrong,” but Petro doesn’t admit mistakes easily.” Read on.

“Last night is concrete proof of (Ventura’s) ability. Last night is a reason to say, ‘Okay, it’s just not stuff.’”
Soren Petro, who was impressed that Ventura got through seven innings, 810 AM
GH: It was the Astros though, Soren, wasn’t it?

“The Astros: good for what #Royals ya.”
Jeff Rosen, @jeff_rosen88, Twitter

“Don Free (Royals Radio producer/engineer) was offered an Astros’ jacket but he’s a true Royals loyalist – 29 years with Royals Radio – and he refused it.”
Steve Stewart, play-by-play voice for Royals Radio, as the temps in Houston dipped into the low 50s Tuesday night at the Royals/Astros game, Royals Radio
GH: Stewart mentioned that Free had expected the roof to be closed at the Astros’ park and so he did not wear his jacket to the game. Free fended off the cold under some blankets while he worked the game instead of wearing the opposition’s colors. I met Free years ago when Fred White introduced me to him and immediately liked him. If there is one book I would like to read from someone who has followed the Royals and their broadcast team it would be Free’s book. But I doubt Don will ever write such a book. In the 29 years he has been with Royals Radio he has never been heard to speak on the air. And I don’t expect him to start talking once he retires.

“If Moose doesn’t change that stance it’s going to be a long year. There are too many variables in that thing! There’s too much movement.”
Mike Boddicker, former Royals pitcher, 810 AM
GH: Moose has gone to an exaggerated open stance that served him very well in spring training. Up north is just makes him look like he’s lost and willing to try just about anything to get his average up to.200.

“Happy to see @raford3 (Robert Ford) doing so well in Houston.”
Carrington Harrison, @cdotharrison, on the former Royals pre- and postgame talk show host who is now the Denny Matthews of the Astros, Twitter
GH: I found Ford to be too bland and unemotional for my taste when it came to hosting a Royals talk show host through some of their more decrepit and disappointing years. He sounded prepared, knowledgeable and boring on the radio. I was surprised to hear he won the Astros’ radio play-by-play job – but happy to report he is far better suited in this role. I hope he eventually gets to work for a team that wins something.

“Vin Scully. The only Dodger employee who could get a warm ovation in San Francisco.”
Andrew Baggerly, SF Giants beat reporter for Comcast, on Giants fans applauding the iconic Dodgers’ radio man now for 65 seasons, @CSNBaggs. Twitter
GH: 65 seasons with the same team? I often get on broadcasters who just don’t know when to hang it up but Vin Scully might be the exception to that often abused rule. Listening to Scully is an education in life as much as it is baseball. I wish more play-by-play voices understood this.

“They are just making sure they are thoughtful in everything they do.”
Kevin Harlan, on the Chiefs passive nature in free agency this off-season, 810 AM

“Over the second half (of the Chiefs’ season), they were the worst defense in the NFL. Doesn’t that have to be where you’re focusing (for the draft)?”
Soren Petro, on the Chiefs, 810 AM
GH: There has been little talk about the Chiefs draft including the defense as a priority. Wide receiver, offensive lineman, running backs and even quarterbacks seem to be the topic over a defensive back or down lineman. But Petro’s point is a good one. Anyone who watched Andrew Luck eviscerate the Chiefs defense in the playoffs knows the problem that day was not on offense.

“Where are (the Chiefs) going to go in the draft? Man, this is the first year where it is a crap shoot! A lot of people are saying they need a playmaker but in my gut I think they need to find an offensive lineman. But I don’t think the fan base is gonna stomach it. I don’t think anybody knows where the Chiefs are gonna go in this draft.”
Tim Grunhard, 810 AM
GH: I like them taking a wide receiver if they can’t trade down for more picks. You?

“I used to think the greatest sitcom was All in the Family. Then it was replaced by Seinfeld. But I’ve got to tell you, Modern Family is moving into rarified air. I’m watching episodes of Modern Family that you probably saw four years ago that I’ve just discovering now. That show is phenomenal! Phenomenal! I’m putting it number three on my all-time list ahead of The Odd Couple – and it’s with a bullet!”
Mike Greenberg, ESPN Radio
GH: My all-time sitcom list has to place Seinfeld at the top with Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm number two. The Michael Scott years if The Office were some of the best as well. Frasier had incredible writers. Cheers just doesn’t hold up as well when looking back but I loved it in the ‘80s. While I enjoyed Lucy, Beaver, Andy Griffin, Bewitched and those B/W sitcoms from my youth, they were not in the same class as today’s best sitcoms. Who you got?

[email protected] and Twitter @greghall24

About Greg Hall

Software guy who has been writing my Off The Couch column in KC newspapers, publications and websites since 1994. Has been bounced from some of the finest media establishments this side of State Line Road. Dad first and everything else second...and there are a lot of everything elses.
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45 Responses to OTC: Fire-Throwing Ace Ventura Might Be Part Dragon? / Chiefs Draft A “Crasp Shoot”

  1. husker82 says:

    In no particular order:

    Big Bang Theory
    Modern Family

    Best line – Thanksgiving Episode of WKRP: God as my witness, I thought Turkey’s could fly.

    • Lance The Intern says:

      Second best line = Johnny Fever – …”This is the phone company we’re talking about! They see everything, they know everything, they got their own covert police force! I’m probably wired for sound right now! I gotta get out of here!”

      WKRP was the sh*t.

  2. ric says:

    Greg i know u r a Parenthood fan. What is up with the lesbian storyline?

    • Kyle R says:

      I am too, but that doesn’t really qualify as a situational comedy (sitcom). Fantastic show though.

      • ric says:

        Ahhhh…….no its not a comedy. But what was i suppose to do go back two years when Greg wrote about Parenthood and post my question? Seemed relevant….u know favorite tv. By theway Soap as far as comedy.

  3. Matt says:

    Friends, Scrubs, Fraiser, Big Bang Theory, Married With Children

  4. Rico_suave says:

    Mary Tyler Moore Show

    …and her offspring – 30 Rock

    Larry Sanders

    Family Guy

    Chappelle show

  5. Joe Blow says:

    “I have no explanation how a 5’11″ guy can command fire like this..”
    Rany Jazayerli, @jazayerli, Twitter

    There have been a large number of guys 5’11” or less throughout the years who could throw as hard as Ventura. Rany doesn’t understand how anything happens on a baseball diamond until someone comes up with a statistic to tell him. And then he interprets it wrong. Then he makes up 96 scenarios about what Royals GM *should* have done that he didn’t, whether they’re based in reality or not (99% not). He second-guesses decisions he would have agreed with a week ago, or without thinking through other scenarios, or without thinking for the future…anything that fits his narrow point of view. He’s always smarter, always knows better, even pimps out his “inside” connections…until he gives disastrous player advice…then it’s, “I don’t actually have any *inside* advice, so how would I know?!”

    • Phaedrus says:

      The funny thing is that Rany thinks people look to him for answers regarding the causes of Ventura’s fastball.

      He is so full of himself that it’s pathetic. All he does is look at stats (Moustakas is 0 for 23. The last Royal to do that was Charles Humperdink in 1904.). Somehow people think that makes him a guru.

      • Joe Blow says:

        Actually, the last Royal to do that was ‘ol Wood-Legged McGee in 1899, so that shows what you know!

        Seriously, how does a 5’11” guy command fire? Ask Kelvin Herrera and Greg Holland, who are both listed at 5’10”..

  6. Juan Pablo says:

    Seinfeld, Mash, Mary Tyler Moore, Friends.
    Married with Children and Green Acres were the best shows ahead of their time.

  7. Joe Blow says:

    The only show I’ve seen every episode of is Full House. I guess that makes it the best!

    • Big D in the O says:

      Who would have thought that todays kids love that show so much. It is on in my house every morning. It may actually be the right time to follow the bumper sticker’s advice. “Kill your TV”

  8. BlackJack says:

    Three’s Company
    The Ropers
    Married with Children
    Home Improvement
    The Simpsons
    South Park

  9. who-fan says:

    M*A*S*H – the first three seasons with Henry Blake and Trapper John – the best there is…
    Cheers – great ensemble,
    All in the Family – Carroll O’Connor was able to make a biggot loveable. Acting at its finest
    Mary Tyler Moore
    WKRP – “oh the humanity!!”
    Barney Miller – very underrated show
    Scrubs – great cast and writing
    Big Bang Theory – my current favorite show. well acted, well written
    Modern Family – great ensemble, great writing
    Seinfeld – great show, but you didnt care about the characters (I know that was intentional.)

    • JP says:

      Totall agree on the first 3 seasons of M*A*S*H, it was hilarious and didn’t get all preachy. Once Henry and Trapper left, the show wasn’t the same and more dramatic..

      I would definitely put Barney Miller and Mary Tyler Moore in my Top 10. Every cop swears Barney Miller is the most realistic cop show, and not the shoot em ups of the other shows.

  10. Stringer Pete says:

    Green Acres (The 60s)
    Fernwood/America 2-Night (The 70s)
    SCTV (The 80s)
    The Simpsons (The 90s)
    Grounded For Life (The 00s)

    • Tim says:

      SCTV to me is like Jerry Rice’s NFL career. The greatest of the great and likely never to be duplicated.

  11. randy raley says:

    MASH, The first Bob Newhart Show, (Emily…sigh) The Wonder Years (I was Kevin’s age), WKRP ( I got offered the job at KY the same night Johnny got offered the job in LA), Mary Tyler Moore, Cheers(started slow but found it’s niche about the last of season two), The Simpsons

  12. Herb says:

    All In The Family still kicks ass.

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