OTC: Royals Kick Twins 13-0 And KC Going Bonkers For The Blue!

“Going be strutting around like the guy on the gates BBQ sauce bottle all day (Tuesday).”
Gregor Avey, @gregoravey, after the Royals 13-0 win over the Twins, Twitter
GH: Gregor is not the only Royals’ fan emulating the famous Gates strut today. Walk tall Royals fans! Get yourself a cane, a top hat and feel good for a change that your team is on a serious professional roll in August.

“AwesOme Game Last Night.”
Willie Wilson, @wwbb6, Twitter
GH: 13-0? THIS is the offense we all hoped we would see once Hosmer, Moustakas, Cain, Gordon and Butler got rolling. Is it real? Read on.

“They’re real for now. … You’ve got to believe what you see. As for now, they’re for real.”
Ryan Lefebvre, when asked if the Royals are for real, 610 AM
GH: Okay, not the most ardent of proclamations but can you blame the Beav? All this might just be the lead in to another ugly ending but screw those thoughts for now. The Royals are kicking ass and taking games. Let’s revel in the carnage.

“I do believe that getting above .500 is going to remove a lot of question marks for this team next year in spring training.”
Ryan Lefebvre, 610 AM
GH: Screw .500. That kind of thinking is for losers. The Royals are five games over .500 on August 6th. They need to think about being 10 or 15 games over .500 come October. That’s what winners do.

“We’re having a great time!”
Billy Butler, assessing the attitude of the Royals team in an interview Monday before the Twins game with The Drive on 610 AM
GH: Everybody likes to win – even multimillionaire ball players. And nothing looks better than a winner in the hometown’s colors.

“This could be a really, really special summer and fall. No, I don’t have blue koolaid on corners of my mouth. This just has that…vibe.”
Jeff Rosen, @jeff_rosen, Twitter

“7000 fans decide on the day of the game to purchase (Royals) tickets – on a Monday! That’s pretty good.”
Nate Bukaty, on the walk-up crowd for the Twins/Royals game Monday night, 810 AM
GH: 7,000 fans standing in line on a humid late August afternoon to purchase tickets to see the Twins and Royals? ON A MONDAY? I hope that Toby Cook and his gang have evrery available ticket window open all week long and every available Royals employee in those ticket booths selling tickets to these long-suffering Royals fans. Hell, Dave and Dan should be down there handing out donuts ala Bill Self!

“(Tuesday) big game james for a W. The second half is ours!!!”
Ervin Santana, @ErvinSantana_54, Twitter

“I’m a huge Chiefs fan but I could honestly care less about training camp right now. The Royals have me all in.”
Andrew Curtis, @AndrewCurtis24, Twitter

“Live at the K this morning talking about the @Royals hot streak.”
Matt Flener, @MattFlener, KMBC anchor/reporter, with a tweet during the 6:00 AM hour today, Twitter
GH: Covering the Royals like it’s 1985!

“Mike Moustakas is batting .322 with 4 homers and 11 RBI in 59 at-bats since the All-Star break. What a turnaround for Moose. Knock on wood.”
Jake Gutierrez, @JakeGuti, Twitter
GH: Mouse has been Mouse for much of the season but all is forgiven if he goes Hulk the final couple of months. BTW, how do you think George Brett feels about bolting on these guys? His decision to quit the team in midseason looks like he may miss out on being part of the best Kansas City summer in almost 30 years. You couldn’t suck it up for two more months, George?

“Football’s like a cult, dude. … It’s football. There’s no question about it. They love football. They love Arrowhead. They love the Chiefs. Baseball’s a great sport and it’s a summer sport – but it’s always going to be second tier. But it sure is fun. I sure enjoy baseball – it makes my summers.”
Bill Maas, former Chiefs’ nose tackle, when asked by Danny Parkins if Kansas City is a baseball town or a football town, 610 AM
GH: Debate the topic all you want – I’m just ecstatic we are having this conversation.

“It is a starved-for-a-winner town. That’s what it is.”
Carrington Harrison, 610 AM

“Friday and Saturday nights should be sellouts. I don’t understand why there’s going to be 23,000 people at The K (Monday night). That’s a disappointing number.”
Danny Parkins, 610 AM
GH: 23K is a disappointing number??? Parkins sounds like a dolt – or the Chicago-bred/Syracuse-educated numbskull he is. Attendance figures for a sporting event no longer have diddly to do with gauging the interest of a fan base. Only an owner cares about gate. The media – and Parkins is part of the media – should not care squat about selling out a stadium. Squat!

“Everybody says, ‘Give me a winner and I’ll go out there.’ They’re over .500! They’re playing their best baseball of the season! And they haven’t sold more than 20,000 tickets to any of these games (this homestand)! You cannot tell me that this town doesn’t have enough interest to sell 38,000 people for the Red Sox game. I want them to go to the stadium.”
Danny Parkins, 610 AM
GH: Danny want them to go the stadium? Does he work for the Royals? Why does a fan have to spend money to validate his/her fandom? They don’t. It’s an old ruse perpetuated by owners to make fans think they are “bad fans” if they don’t buy tickets. It’s dumber than Dog the Bounty Hunter.

“I’m not going to fault anybody for enjoying a beer and watching the game at home. I’ve got no problem sitting at home watching at on Fox Sports Kansas City. I think things have changed as a culture and a society. 52% would much rather watch a game at home.”
Carrington Harrison, 610 AM
GH: And man oh man are Royals fans watching the games at home…and in bars…and in restaurants…and anywhere else they can view their Boys in Blue. Read on.

“Monday’s Royals game sets another ratings record. Monday’s 13-0 win over Minnesota game was the highest-rated Royals telecast ever on FOX Sports Kansas City, earning a 10.2 household rating in the Kansas City market. It was the second game in a row, and third in four days, to reach a new all-time high. Data is courtesy of The Nielsen Co. Monday’s game peaked at a 12.3 rating (115,000 households). It was the most-watched TV program of the day in Kansas City. Royals telecasts on FOX Sports Kansas City are averaging a 6.1 in 2013, up 56 percent over last season.”
Geoff Goldman, Fox Sports

“It appears that a young lady fell into the fountains out in left field. … Maybe she jumped in the fountain. They’ve gotten her out…and now she runs away. As Maxwell swings and fouls it away. Tiptoeing along the edge of the fountain. And now she is going to try and crawl up the wall in left field. There are as many people watching that as there are watching the game right now.”
Ryan Lefebvre, giving play-by-play of Fountain Fan at The K, Royals Radio
GH: This drunk received way too much media attention for being an ass. I guess that’s what happens when the Royals are hanging a 13-0 beat down in the Twins. Here is the link of one’s fan’s viewpoint of Fountain Dork.

“Bare minimum, it should be the same as the A-Rod suspension.”
Nate Bukaty, when asked what penalty Fountain Fan should receive for jumping into the left-field fountains Monday night, 810 AM
GH: I would ban her for life from The K and then I’d get Arrowhead to ban her as well. You need to show idiots that they need to find a new line of work.

“I think the (Kansas City) fans right now are a little bit confused. Usually the baton has been passed from one side of the Truman Sports Complex to the other. … It’s unbelievable what’s going to be happening Friday night in this town.”
Jay Binkley, on Kansas City-area fans trying to decide whether to attend or watch the Royals game versus the Red Sox at The K or watch the Chiefs’ preseason opener in New Orleans, 610 AM
GH: What a delicious dilemma to have to deal with. Is this really Kansas City? I might have to go by Smartman’s grave and douse it with some Smokin’ Guns BBQ sauce. He wouldn’t believe what’s going on in his town.

“I’d rather not put a blade to my head. It seems creepy to me. I’ve never seen my scalp.”
Kevin Kietzman, on whether he’ll use a razor or electric shaver to shave his head should the Royals make the playoffs, 810 AM
GH: I would like to see KK’s head shaving performed by Mayor Charlie Wheeler wielding a straight edge.

“(Jason) Sudeikis is wearing an Oklahoma Joe’s shirt in his new film, We’re the Millers.”
Kara Marxer, newscaster, after Good Morning America surprised the Shawnee Mission West grad with Oklahoma Joe’s BBQ on the set, 980 AM
GH: So now OKJ’s is going to be even more difficult to get in at lunch? Bring on the rookies!

[email protected] and Twitter / @greghall24

About Greg Hall

Software guy who has been writing my Off The Couch column in KC newspapers, publications and websites since 1994. Has been bounced from some of the finest media establishments this side of State Line Road. Dad first and everything else second...and there are a lot of everything elses.
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44 Responses to OTC: Royals Kick Twins 13-0 And KC Going Bonkers For The Blue!

  1. Dan says:

    To me, it’s an easy decision on Friday night. I’ll be watching meaningful baseball over a football game that doesn’t count. I really don’t get the dilemma. And I love football and I love the Chiefs.

    • Tim Grissum says:

      I don’t care for Binkley so I don’t listen to him much, but he doesn’t seem to be much of a baseball guy. Even in May and June when nothing was happening in the NFL, the few times I turned his show on he was talking football.

      Even when the Royals have been bad it’s been an easy decision for me to watch regular season baseball over preseason football. I’ll be ready to watch football September 8, until then it’s just meaningless background noise.

  2. SmartAssDad says:

    Sudeikis went to SM West (as did Paul Rudd), not East

  3. Tim says:

    Oklahoma Joes = Overrated

  4. Jim says:

    Two thoughts:

    Do you think Brett actually lobbied for the job of hitting coach or do you think he was begged to do it in an attempt to save Yost’s and Moore’s jobs. FYI….it’s the latter. How can you “quit” an interim job that you said up front you were going to evaluate at the end of 30 days?

    Ban the drunk chick for life? Really? You get 2 years probation, a fine and some classes for getting a DUI. A freaking DUI where you or someone else could have been killed. A chick jumps in the fountain and THAT should be a lifetime ban from a stadium? To top it off, you want her banned from another stadium that she didn’t do a damn thing wrong in? Extreme much, Greg? Geez.

    • Hot Carl says:

      No shit…I’d encourage MORE young ladies to jump in the fountain. Especially if they bring back Halter Top Day!

    • Greg Hall says:

      I’m pretty sure Dayton and the Royals begged George to take the gig…but he did take it. I like George as much as anyone but I don’t like that he quit with two months to go in the season.

      Drunk folks just aren’t much of a turn on for me. Really dumb drunks even less.

      • Jim says:

        I agree she was a complete dumbass and one of those drunks that just makes me shake my head. My point was the punishment should fit the crime. She was drunk and was completely stupid. Banning her for life at The “K” is extreme. Banning her from Arrowhead, too? That’s just silly.

        • Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

          Give her a break. The broad was from Iowa. This is what happens with goat roping morons from the sticks have a couple beers in the big city.

  5. Kyle says:

    OK Joe’s overrated? You serious Tim??

  6. brett says:

    how do you enforce a lifetime ban? will her photo be posted at every entrance? updated each year using computer-generated aging technology?

    no doubt it was dumb, but it’s not like she beat up a first base coach. hit her with a big fine- the city walks away with some revenue, she walks away with a great story. win-win. move on.

  7. Ultimate Dude says:

    Greg I sense a little sarcasm because of the overwhelming support given to the Royals. Either that, or you’re just exercising a little journalism 101 of doing the old 180 from all previous stances, which is extremely convenient. I wish I would have known this bit of info when narrowing down what I wanted to be the rest of my life at 17-18 yrs of age. Atleast I know what direction to send my kids in. Want zero accountability? Hefty paychecks for being wrong? Ability to change your views on a whim? Have businesses send you freebies and shower you with gifts (while raising their prices on the rest of society)?? Journalism, broadcasting, media. This is why I have no respect for most and little respect for a select few broadcasters and journalists. You said it best:

    “You need to show idiots they need a new line of work.”

    Football is king, but Royals have our attention.

    Oklahoma Joes is not KC BBQ. It’s ks bbq. Olathe is not KC, no matter how bad you transplants from Nebraska, Iowa and ks want it to be KC, MO, sorry, its not. New England is a region, KC is a city in a state, that all you insecure transplants just have to be apart of.

    I hope they use a chainsaw on KK’s head.


    • Mike says:

      Wait. You said hefty paychecks in journalism and media? Yeah, if you think that, by all means, send your kids into that field. They’ll be fortunate to make 26K in their first couple jobs out of school, and that’s largely thanks to updated labor law enacted in ’03 to set pay floors for exempted salaried employees.
      Hefty journalism paycheck….funny, funny thing you said there.

      • Ultimate Dude says:

        I’ll believe that when Petro isn’t driving a GMC Denali, and has mancave larger than my house. I mean, more power to them, I make a pretty good living, but could never afford to take my family to movies 3 times a week at $10+ a pop like SSJ. Jealously?? Maybe a bit, but more frustration of things I didn’t realize were possible growing up.

        • Kyle Rohde says:

          Petro is a little man and driving that Denali might be his way of defeating his Napoleon complex. Having a nice doesn’t mean you’re well off – it can mean you took out a 7 year loan (which is fairly common now) and are leveraged to the hilt. I doubt that’s the case with Petro, who’s been around long enough to get good deals on stuff like cars and home theatre systems since he’s on the radio.

          SSJ took his family on a week long vacation to St. Joseph and utilized the hotel room he got since he’s there for work . Not DisneyWorld. Not Busch Gardens. Not even Branson, for chrissakes. If he wants to splurge on a couple movies for his family while vacationing in ST JOSEPH, that’s ok. Doesn’t mean he makes much money at all.

          Journalism does NOT pay well until you get to a certain level, like most careers. If you start and make beyond 30K, you’re doing better than most in journalism do. You think Nate Bukaty works for 810, the Royals and for KU just for fun? He’s working three jobs for extra money!

          (sorry, journalism degree holder here – even though I work in advertising, I have a soft spot for that side of the J-School at KU too)

          • b12 says:

            Petro married well. That’s how the Denali and home theater, etc…comes into play. Dude is probably somewhere around $80K; which beats the hell out of $26…but also doesn’t put you in Denali territory.

            Or it shouldn’t, according to Dave Ramsey

  8. Kyle says:

    Sorry UD, it’s all KC. Your hatred for all things Kansas does not change that.

    • Ultimate Dude says:

      So its all KC because you say so?? Actually, Lee’s Summit isn’t KC. Blue Springs is not KC. If you aren’t counted as part of the roughly 460,000 that the city limit sign says, you’re not in KC. When I lived in Inglewood CA for 8 yrs, I lived in Inglewood, not L.A. People claimed to be from Inglewood, not L.A. They weren’t insecure, they were proud. Anyone within 500 miles of KC thinks they live in KC. And they’re wrong. Feeling the need to be a part of something doesn’t count. “Midwest insecurities”.

      • Ultimate Dude says:

        Yes, the above is mostly a running joke based off of St. John claiming Victor Ortiz (or any athlete within 1,000 miles) is from KC. His hometown is closer to Denver than KC. And yes I hate everything ks, Neb and Iowa.

      • david says:

        Born and raised in LA, lived there 28 years NO ONE EVER SAYS THEY ARE FROM INGLEWOOD. Everyone from Sylmar to Torrance, Santa Monica to Ontario says they are from LA. Otherwise, you get the same blank stare looking at you as someone who says they are from Raytown or Roeland Park.

        • Fred Flintstone says:

          EXACTLY.. What a D-Bag Ultimate Dude is. Talk about insecure……

        • NOT...Jason Whitlock says:

          When out of town I normally say I’m from a suburb of Kansas City. BUT NOT KANAS CITY.

          Why? Because being from KC is embarrassing. All the crime, corruption, violence, ignorance, stupidity, sloth, laziness high taxes for nothing in return, hopelessness and flash mobs. And that’s just in the minority communities.

          Then you have the white douchbag hipsters who think being in the suburbs is lame and beneath them. Until they have a kid. Then they realize that staying in KCMO is almost child abuse.

          I never say I’m from Kansas City, that’s like admitting your from Detroit, Gary, IN or Beirut

  9. JP says:

    Friday should be no decision. Especially if you have DVR. Watch the Royals and DVR the Chiefs game. Hell only the first 5-10 minutes of that game will be worth watching anyway. I am already going to the game on Friday, so that will be no problem.

    One question for Greg: Fox Sports KC never televises weekend Royals games in the month of September. Does that change this year, if the Royals are close and in the Wild Card (if not the AL Central) race? Because I personally will want to watch the Royals on the weekend, regardless if there’s football. Especially if they are in a pennant race.

    • Ultimate Dude says:

      ^^^ Amen brotha!

    • Greg Hall says:

      JP, I cannot imagine Fox Sports would miss the opportunity to cash in on the kind of hysteria a September wild-card race would bring to KC. Maybe somebody from FSKC can help with this one?

  10. Kyle says:

    UD, we all know you are smarter than that. Inglewood is LA Metro as is JOCO and all the Missouri suburbs. That’s an awful lot of hate you are carrying around. And don’t forget, you live in KANSAS City.

    • Ultimate Dude says:

      Brush up on your history. KC was a city in MO, long before ks even became a state. Jayhawkers great at thieving, just another instance where ks has nothing of their own so they try to clam onto MO for it. Sad existence 😉

  11. Jon says:

    UD, you think there’s something magical that happens once you pass into the KC city limits? I grew up in “KC city limits” and later moved across the stateline. You think my life drastically changed?? KC’s influence is felt around the entire metro area, whether it’s BBQ, KC sports, or the local media… that’s what makes it great. The way you throw around insecurity is rather amusing though. I suppose you may be from the “KC city limits” by the way you’re taking offense, but maybe you should just go back to LA… oh sorry, I mean Inglewood.

    • Ultimate Dude says:

      Yes, something magical does happen. ks residents spend their $$ in my home city/state. But as I stated before, running joke, it will be okay.

  12. Zard says:

    I love the Royals and all but I am not missing Chase Daniel’s debut with the Chiefs. The Royals will be on Saturday and Sunday.
    People don’t go to the game because you have to bring a mint with you…$10 park, $100 for tickets, $75 food and drinks sheesh you can go on vacation for less.
    Everything about Joco is derivative. The next original thing to come out of kansas will be the first thing. Oklahoma Joes is great if you like fries with your salt. Give me Danny Edwards any day over the Salt Palace.

  13. Bob Sacamano says:


    I think you are way to hard on fountain mom, she didn’t harm anyone. If I were her attorney, I would be going after the Royals for serving a woman who was obviously drunk. The Royals would promptly drop the charges because the last thing the Royals want is publicity about being responsible for overserving their guests. They don’t want that brought up in the arena of public opinion. One could make the argument, if you give a guy a loaded gun and he pulls the trigger and shoots himself, whose at fault, the person that pulled the trigger or the person that gave them the gun?

    • Greg Hall says:

      I think you’re being too easy on FM. There are a lot of drunks at The K every night who manage to stay out of the fountains and not offer to blow the cops.

  14. Ron says:

    In the old, old days (1970s) the Royals televised 12 road games a year. People used to get the schedule and circle those dates on their calendars. There was one home game a year televised, usually the near the end of the season. That was it. As a result, Denny and Fred were the most popular guys in town. They are how we “watched” the Royals.

    • JP says:

      Yes, and the road games were usually the same places. Chicago, Minnesota and Texas. My favorite is when they would show the Sunday Night game at Texas as it was always a treat to see any sports on TV in the mid 70’s. It was rare to see the Royals televise in Oakland or Anaheim. They would do the Friday and Sunday Yankees games. Times have changed, now the Royals are one of the few teams that doesn’t televise every game. That has to change.

    • Greg Hall says:

      In the even older, older, older days — before the Royals existed — we got one Game of the Week on Saturday afternoon and we LIKED IT! …or else.

  15. Kyle says:

    UD reminds me of the tools up in the Quad Cities that have lived there their entire lives and never crossed into Iowa or Illinois. Talk about a sad existence. Kansas has a ton to offer as does Missouri. Missouri is a great state when you eliminate the stain in the middle of it.

  16. Say what? says:

    I have very little interest in the Chiefs until the real games start in September. Preseason games are a waste of time.

  17. If Fountain Broad had been better looking and in a bikini (or other scantily clad outfit), I most definitely would’ve been more receptive to her crazy antics.

  18. Arte says:

    Cookie Rojas jumped in the fountain once. They didn’t ban him. Or did they?

    • Java Man says:

      Wasn’t Cookie the one that got suspended for letting the bat “slip out of his hands” a couple times in the direction of a pitcher that had previously hit him with a pitch ?

  19. BlackJack says:

    “GH: This drunk received way too much media attention for being an ass. I guess that’s what happens when the Royals are hanging a 13-0 beat down in the Twins. Here is the link of one’s fan’s viewpoint of Fountain Dork.”

    Did she do something personal to you, Greg? So a professional athlete can act like an ass all they want on the field, and we just let bygones be bygones. But a female fan frolicks in the fountains and we should ban her for life. Sorry, but the thugs who threw the bobbleheads at Sporting Park and hit Jimmy Nielsen in the face should be banned for life, but not some harmless hijinks off the field..

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